Couples Counseling
Do You And Your Partner Struggle To Be Loving And Respectful?
Are you in a committed relationship or marriage that seems stagnant, unfulfilling, or even toxic at times? Do you and your partner get into the same arguments over and over again? Has a lack of emotional or intimate connection left you feeling insecure or isolated?
Perhaps you are frustrated or angry because you do not feel heard and appreciated in your relationship. Or maybe your marriage has naturally evolved into something more practical and less passionate, which makes you wonder, “Is this all there is to my relationship?”
Relationship Issues And Marriage Problems Look Different For Every Couple
During the day, you may take peace in the distraction of work—away from the tension and conflict at home. When you are together as a couple, you probably spend a lot of time walking on eggshells, trying to express yourself without your partner reading things the wrong way and getting defensive.
If you handle most of the heavy lifting in the relationship, you likely feel exhausted, resentful, and desperate for some balance. Sometimes, it may even seem like you live separate lives, going about your days interacting more like roommates than spouses or lovers.
If you are going through something similar, I understand how uncertain and hopeless it may seem—but you can feel loved and respected in your relationship again. My online couples counseling services can help you and your partner improve communication, enhance your sexual intimacy, and establish greater equity in your relationship.
All Couples Eventually Experience Hardship Or Disconnection
While most of us recognize that love takes work, few of us were ever taught how to navigate and maintain relationships. As a result, when stressors or incompatibilities surface, it can take a surprising toll on couples.
For instance, major life events can create unexpected challenges, tension, or discord in relationships. Pursuing careers and raising children can deprive couples of time they would otherwise dedicate to each other. A misalignment of sexual desires or a lack of intimacy often creates distance and disconnection. For over two years now, COVID has made it nearly impossible for many couples to get out, relax, and have fun working on their relationship.
Why Is It So Hard For Couples To Course-Correct On Their Own?
The way that people think, behave, and communicate is typically so ingrained in them that it can be difficult to change those patterns without help. Another reason is that when feelings of resentment or neglect build, each partner tends to step back and wait for the other person to change—resulting in a stalemate.
Sometimes, individuals prioritize their personal feelings and “winning” over the health of the partnership. Other times, an overall critical view of a relationship can cause partners to interpret neutral events through a lens that further reinforces their negative perspective.
All of these factors create disconnection and a lack of emotional safety that makes it difficult to talk about sensitive topics.
That is why working with a couples therapist is so beneficial. It gives you a safe environment to communicate, reconnect, and resolve conflict effectively. In the process, you can both begin to feel more understood, appreciated, and capable of responding to each other’s needs.
Online Couples Therapy Can Restore Your Feelings Of Love And Connection
Many partners hesitate to seek counseling for couples because they fear their therapist will blame them for their challenges. That is why I am very intentional about balancing my relationship with both partners and not taking sides.
I consider your relationship, itself, to be my client, which is why my work will center around what is best for your partnership as opposed to either individual.
My purpose is to give each of you a space in which you can voice your concerns and feel heard without the censorship of judgment. Working together, couples counseling can help you interrupt unhealthy relationship patterns, develop effective communication skills, and understand each other’s emotional responses better.
What You Can Expect From My Couples Therapy Sessions
I will initially meet with you as a couple for 60-minutes before scheduling two subsequent individual sessions for each partner, which will give me a chance to explore your collective concerns for the relationship and learn a little more about each of you as individuals and your backgrounds.
Rather than acting as a referee for a new argument each week, my purpose is to help you discern and address what is at the root of your conflict so you are equipped to tackle conflicts on your own as they arise.
To do that, we will concentrate on identifying and addressing any underlying thoughts, emotions, or protective factors that negatively influence how you communicate and interact. At the same time, we will check in with any emotional responses or meanings associated with your experiences outside of sessions.
In the beginning, therapy may feel like the only place you feel safe enough to communicate with your partner deeply. My goal, however, is to equip you with the awareness and tools needed to safely navigate and resolve issues on your own.
My Approach To Online Therapy And Helping Couples Heal
I approach couples counseling from a skills-based, solution-focused perspective that empowers you to independently navigate complex issues, including communication, trust, sex, and work/life balance.
To help you solve problems and restore your connection in the here and now, I will show you how to leverage your strengths and utilize any strategies that have worked for you in the past. I will also introduce you to techniques for improving communication, de-escalating arguments, and resolving longstanding issues.
A big part of couples therapy is understanding one’s own contribution to the relational dynamic and how that plays a role in the overall health of the relationship. Exploring those factors safely and developing self-awareness empowers each person to make changes and self-improvements that will benefit themselves, their partner, and their relationship as a whole.
At this point, you are either frustrated from still trying to fix things on your own or so emotionally depleted that you have run out of hope. There is, however, a way to end the arguments and find common ground where can reconnect.
If you are willing to prioritize your partnership and put in the work to make positive changes, you can have a relationship in which you feel loved, respected, and safe expressing yourself honestly.
Perhaps You Are Considering Couples Therapy But Still Have Concerns…
I feel like we should be able to figure this out as a couple without counseling.
Chances are, if you are seeking therapy, you have probably already tried without success to address issues on your own. Working with a couples counselor acts like scaffolding that supports you as you learn how to repair your relationship and overcome future problems on your own.
And if you feel ashamed about reaching out for help, rest assured that being able to identify gaps in your knowledge and ask for direction is a sign of strength and innate wisdom. You would not feel guilty about calling a dentist if your tooth hurt; why be ashamed of calling a counselor to safeguard your relationship or marriage?
Is couples therapy really worth the cost?
I understand that financial concerns are very real; however, you would not be reading this page if your relationship was not incredibly important to you. The reality is that therapy is only meant to be a temporary process that helps you establish goals, find direction, and build skills for resolving issues without my support. And the sooner you seek help, the less time, energy, and money you will likely have to invest in couples therapy.
With work and everything else, I doubt we have time for therapy.
Relationship issues are frequently—at least, in part—a result of individuals prioritizing areas of their lives that have the most immediate consequences, which is normal! When it comes to love, however, the need to focus on the relationship or spend more time with each other does not carry that same tangible sense of urgency or consequence. That is where the trouble starts.
Working on your relationship with a couples therapist and improving your lives will only take a small fraction of your time. And because all of my couples therapy sessions are done online, you do not have to travel or make arrangements for kids because you can fit a session in between nap times and lunch breaks. To make things easier, your partner can even sign in from a different location!
You Can Restore Love, Respect, And Emotional Safety To Your Relationship
If you live anywhere in Texas or Colorado and you are searching for a way to reconnect with your partner and resolve complicated issues on your own, I would love to show you how. Please contact me for your free 20-minute consultation to see how online couples counseling services at Kochman Newton Therapy can help you heal and enrich your relationship or marriage.